i remember nothing

but the rain
me, underage under the eaves
crying, looking at the single lit cabin window
looking for hope

i don't remember her name now
but i remember holding her baby
and heading across the lake to the inlet
feeling like such a man

she kissed me with such passion, desperation
she guided my hand to her breast
taught me how to suckle a nipple
to give pleasure

such a sad woman
wanting the comfort of a boy
it was sad she only had me
i was leaving too

i don't remember her name now
but i do remember the first time
i was crushed by love
confused love